Group+Story

(Taken from __Grandpa Never Lies__ by Ralph Fletcher) Add to this story: Summers are the best. I get to spend a whole month at Grandma and Grandpa's little house in the woods. We played board games and even watched movies. Our favorite board game is Sorry, and our favorite movie that we watched was Ferris Bueller. Then we went back over to the rock to play hide and go seek.

It was super, duper fun, and I won every single game. I also love going to Grandma and Grandpa's house, because they spoil me with sweets. Every night, Grandma and I sit down on the couch and eat delicious cookie dough ice cream, while laughing and cracking up. My favorite thing that we do is take a really long hike up a mountain.

My grandma has so many funny stories to tell about Grandpa. He is the best grandpa ever. One time, Grandpa was trying to use Facebook and you wouldn't believe it. When he was logged in and was ready to go to his profile, his dinosaur of a computer logged off and we were sucked into a black hole, created by the computer.

We were in prehistoric times. It was really weird, and maybe it was even from my imagination, but if it was, it was the best daydream ever! Grandpa really had a way with stories. Then, some ninjas surrounded us. They took us to their hideout in a volcano. "Oh no! The volcano is erupting!" shouted Grandpa.

We ran as fast as we could, but then Grandpa slipped on a banana peel. I looked back just in time to see Grandpa getting covered with red hot lava. I yelled, "Oh no! we have to save Grandpa!" I said to Grandma. Then we got our awesome motorcycles and rode to save Grandpa. But, on the way, we bumped into some unicorns. "You're coming with us," they said.

The unicorns took us to a magic castle where a wizard with a crystal ball was waiting for us. He said if we wanted to go home, we had to bring him back three magical items. We set out to retrieve the three magical items, and when we were about to get the griffin feather, the last item, we were sucked into a parallel universe. In the parallel universe, we met a dragon. His name was Gadzooks. He told us that if we wanted to get the griffin feather, we had to get him a hamburger with pickles and troll boogers.

That definitley took some time. I sighed, wondering, "Why would you have to find a hamburger with pickles? Okay, this is the weirdest moment in my life. Why would he tell me this stuff? This is so unrealistic, what happened? I knew I could trust him... but for this stuff, I don't know." I thought for a long moment. This was a day of torture. Trying to save Grandpa was almost impossible.

It was so weird. Dinosaurs are pests and are dangerous. I mean, saving Grandpa would be tough because we'd need to lift him. He was probably overweight. I went to sit on the chair on the patio when it hit me. Make him homemade soup. It helps me every time. But I forgot the ingredients! So I tried to make my own soup for him. "First I use the griffin feather, then some unicorn hair, hamburgers, and some toe nails. I think that's how Grandma makes it." After I was done making the soup, I went back to find Grandpa, no longer there laying in the magma by the volcano.

"Where could he have gone? Did he...he..?" I asked Grandma. "Let's call 9-1-1. Maybe he died," I said. "He died, you can't survive hot lava, he is only alive if he had superhuman powers, which I know he doesn't have. You think I might know everything about him since I've been married to him for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 years."

Then a guy came, and chucked a beehive at us. "AAAAAAAAHHH!" we screamed. Through the stings, we realized we were in a parellell universe and we had to go home first. I clicked my heels, saying,"There's no place like home." To my surprise, when I opened my eyes, it worked! Grandpa was right next to me and we were...in the volcano.

"Wait," I said, "How are you alive?" I asked him. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, I have supernatural powers and when I die, I get one more chance!" I guess he spoke too soon, because after a couple of seconds, he collapsed. We tried CPR, but had no such luck. We left his body in the volcano. This wasn't great news at all. My favorite grandpa in the whole world! What would I do without him? Grandma was sobbing, trying to wipe away the tears on her sleeve.

So here I was, I didn't know what to do. The day dragged on. Hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, I just sat on my bed. "I don't have a father or mother. I just have Grandma." I thought, picking up one of my favorite books, trying to comfort and calm myself. I took the book with me and went out into Grandma's back yard to the treehouse that my Grandpa and I built together. We had so many great memories there. I tried to read the book but I just couldn't concentrate on it. Then I heard my Grandma call me. I hurried down from the tree house, worried that something else terrible happened.

The only thing to eat was carrots. Grandma pushed me to eat more. "C'mon Nathan, eat more, it'll keep you healthy.., it'll give ya' carbs, too." said Grandma, in a southern accent. I rolled my eyes. Then I felt a little dizzy, maybe lightheaded, and my eyes immediately shut. When I opened them, Grandpa and Grandma were sitting down at the table, as if nothing happened at all.

"Nathan, Nathan, are you ok?" Grandma grabbed my head and then shook it, trying to wake me. It just felt like I was in a time machine. "How did Grandpa get here?" I asked, starting to feel better, slowing down my dizziness. It's like everything was a dream, a tragic, yet fun and exciting dream. "Man, I wish he was alive." I mumbled,feeling sad, that the dream wasn't true. "I could've gotten his old Ford Taurus to drive to and from high school. But, now I have to buy my own, now that he sold his already."

I went to middle school and got dropped off by their driveway. I told the story about his Grandpa to his class. No one believed that Grandpa actually got sucked into his old Dell, thick white computer, brought back into prehistoric times, and died from a volcano. They just thought it was his dream that he had last night. When I spoke, though, it really looked like I was telling the truth. I began to answer questions. Someone named Patricia asked, "How did you get him out of the volcano?" I answered, "We called CPR... nothing, he died. But then, last night I had a dream... a dream that Grandpa sat right in front of me. I mean, I thought he was dead, right?

Then, all of a sudden, I woke up, he wasn't there. I looked and I looked. No sight of Grandpa." I replied. "How did he get sucked into a black hole on his computer," Zachary asked, "being on Facebook." "Um.., I don't know for sure, you'll have to ask my Grandma." I said. Boom! Boom! Boom! something startled me. I shook, and then froze. So did everyone else. "Excuse me," I said, getting out of the conversation. I ran to the door. "What the..." I wondered, as I scanned the hallway through the tiny window above the door.There was police, equipped with special gear. They stomped down the hallway. They scared me.

The whole class followed me, asking the same question, "What happened?" And I just got tired and annoyed at answering their questions any longer. "Just leave me alone, or find out yourselves." I wanted to say. But, I had to follow the rules. A policeman gripped the door handle and pushed it open. Once he came in, everyone gasped and ran to the colorful, braided rug, where most class discussions take place. The policeman said, with a deep, low voice, "Is anyone named Nathan in this classroom? His Grandmother is here." "Yes." the teacher said, looking worried, especially with the expression on her face. She probably thought, "What happened now?"

"Anything else?" she said, raising her eyebrow. "Nope." he said, suspiciously. The policeman opened the door for him, as he stood there, leaning against the wall. "Yes." she said again, wanting him to get out of the classroom. "Nothing." The policeman said, rolling his eyes, just wanting her to be quiet. "I want to watch your class, anything wrong with that?" the policeman muttered, rolling his eyes. "Whatever. Not in that attitude, you're not." the last sentence she whispered. Everyone gasped. The policeman walked out of the classroom, definitely annoyed by the teacher. That was close. He could've arrested her from acting rude. He heard her rude whispers.

The next day, the teacher was nowhere in sight. We all thought that she had been arrested. Suddenly an old man appeared from behind the teacher's desk. The old man was dressed all in green. He was short and had a three leaf clover with a fourth, fake leaf attached. He also wore a fake beard. For some reason everyone thought he was a leprechaun, no matter how often he said he wasn't. "Then what are you?" someone said. "I'm your sub for the next few weeks. Your teacher had an...accident. Shall we get to work?" The "leprechaun" said. Everybody groaned.

Some kid nudged me and asked, "I want to hear more about your grandpa." I rolled my eyes. What more was there to tell? I just want to find out who this weird sub is. It is very odd. Maybe he was in the Dell computer universe. I started to figure out why he felt unsure about the accident the teacher had. The sub must have captured my teacher!!!Then I started asking lots and lots of questions at the sub. I asked him, "Where are you from and what's your name?" He just said,"California and John Turner." I wonder if that's actually true or could he be someone really dangerous?

I thought for a minute and the teacher turned into Grandpa. He said "Miss me?" I was so surprised when that happened I fainted. When I woke up I was in my room and Grandpa was on Facebook typing this whole story!!!!!!! I was in such shock that I couldn't even begin to think what to ask. How had this happened? Something that scared me even more was the fact that Grandpa was on..........Facebook!!!!!! "What the heck just happened?" I asked Grandpa in complete confusion."Well, while you were asleep you tolded this crazy story," he said. "NOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. I was NOT allowing him to go on that website, after all that happened.

"Relax," he said. After a couple of minutes of him typing the strange story, his whole body morphed into Gadzooks. Grandma came into the room, I think, since she just turned into the wizard with the crystal ball. "I must have hit my head," I muttered to myself.

I started to doze off in to a state of dream but woke up to what seemed like two seconds. I got up slowly, rubbing my hand to the back of my head. "What happened?" I ask myself, but before I could answer another comes into my head. "You fell off the mountain when we where climbing and blacked out," said Grandma.

Suddenly I realized I was in real life. Finally I think to myself in relief. I then rest on a rock with Grandma and have some water from the river. The water was fresh. After, we walk over to a log cabin and look through the window to see who was inside. We saw nothing, but then a huge head popped up from under the window that scared us so much it knocked us right off our feet. I hit the ground and said, "This isn't good." At first I assumed the head was some moster or impossible creature that would never be alive. But then I realized it was a person. "How ya'll doing?" The man said. I nodded, "Good."

"I've heard some pretty bizarre things have been happening to your family and you," he said. "I guess so..." I said. This man looked awfully familiar. Where could he have heard my story from? "Well, I'll be glad to answer any questions you might have," the man responded. Now I recognized him. He was the substitute at my school when my teacher mysteriously disapeared. Now, he wasn't wearing the fake beard and green get-up. "I don't have any questions," I said. "Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow?" he asked. "Sure if my mom says it's okay," I said. "It's a deal because you, your mom, and I are going out to dinner because your mom said so," he said. "Okay." I muttered, softly. "Bye you'all." he said, and waved in an awkward motion. As Grandma and I walked back home, the wooden bridge creaked as we walked across it. "Wow." I thought, "I was brave to actually say 'yes,' to the man I barely knew. Well, except for school. Questions filled my mind, as if I poured water up to the top of my brain, such as, "What happened to my teacher?" "Why did she choose this strange man for a sub? And why is he wearing a green jumpsuit? Does he actually think this place is gymnastics?" "Relax." my brain interrupted all of my questions. "What next?" I asked myself. And that was the last question.

Then my brain jumped out of my head, and suggested "Why don't we dance and have an awesome montage?" "Sure," I said. Then they dance to an awesome montage. After that the ninja came back! "Back for more?" I asked. All the ninjas charged at me, so I jumped out the window, and I hopped on my motorcycle. I drove into town shouting, "The ninjas are coming! The ninjas are coming!" I managed to escape from the ninjas.Then I asked myself, " Why am I running away?" I ran back to the ninjas and started to fight. After a while I finally managed to take out all of the ninjas. "Boom, Boom FIRE POWER!!!" I defeated the ninjas at last. While I was fighting them, I figured out their names. They are as follows: Bob, Billy, Danny, Joe, Fred, Frank, and Clyde, the most powerful of them all. Clyde was by far the hardest ninja to defeat. As I was standing in victory, a Russian man walked slowly up to me and punched me right in the face. I then tumbled down the hill and fell off a cliff.

When I was free falling, I felt something soft catch me. It was a flying narwhal. It flew me back to the top of the cliff and then I knocked the Russian right off the cliff. He was also caught by a narwhal. We then, had an epic slow motion narwal fight. After a long time of fighting, we both decided to take a break and relax for a bit. After a couple minutes of resting, we got back in to the fight. Then we got tired of fighting and signed a peace treaty. Shortly after we signed the treaty, a ghost told the Russian guy that I thought that he was fat. "HE SAID WHAT!" I heard him yell. Then he turn to me and said "I will have you know that I have been working out."

I turned back and said "What do you mean?" The ghost told me that you said I looked fat! "NO I DID NOT" Then he ran into me, and with a hard bump against each other, we both flung of the cliff and landed in a river pulling us down water falls. When the falls were gone we heard noises like whispers. Out of nowhere, an arrow that was shot out of a tree hit the Russian guy. The Russian man sank to the bottom of the river while I swam away. "OW" an arrow hit my leg. I got out of the river running with all my weight on one leg, leaving a trail of blood behind. "What the heck!!" I yelled, so loud that I almost burst my eardrums.

"Where are you, young fellow, hello?!?!" I could hear my grandma yell from far away. I tried to find something to wipe all this blood off. "So gross." I thought. "I can't imagine Grandma trying to pull out this arrow." I mumbled. I tried to move the arrow, but not to hurt myself. I quickly turned around. "The ninjas followed me!!" I yelled. "Yep, Clyde." "Get out of here, you don't belong here," Clyde said, he really looked mad this time. "Yeah. Who says that?" I copied his facial expression. "Me..," He started; but then got interrupted. "Why should I care if you belong here that's just....," I started, but then Grandma slammed into me. "What..?" I said, like nothing even happened. "What are you doing out here, you getting hurt, let's pull this...," grandma started but I interrupted her. "No, stop!!" I jerked away and ran, but then grandma ran after me. I heard her heavily breathing.